How Much of Myself?
The delicate balance of the personal essay
In “Of books,” Montaigne proclaims his ignorance on a multitude of subjects and defends his writings on the grounds that they “are my fancies, by which I try to give knowledge not of things, but of myself.” While this may be a useful expression of the motivation of the personal essay, it does not address the question of how much of such knowledge he will give, nor of how much of it would be welcome. And these are the questions that generally prevent me from writing personal essays. It’s not that I’m an intensely private person, but rather, I have no idea which parts of myself may be of interest to anyone else.
And it’s not only a question of how much, but also of how one might draw conclusions from such candor. I have trouble drawing wisdom from my own experience that could apply even to my own life, let alone the lives of others—but perhaps that’s simply a problem of self-knowledge, or lack thereof.
It is largely because of my cluelessness with regard to this literary form that I admire its most able practitioners, much as I admire virtuosos of the violin, an instrument that I do not play. Two of these (personal essayists, not violinists) are the authors of The Stacks of the Week,1 presented here in alphabetical order by last name:
Sparks from Culture by
While David doesn’t write personal essays exclusively—he also produces insightful criticism and cultural commentary—he has a knack for drawing the reader into the emotional space of a piece, whether or not one has ever experienced anything like what is being described. His most recent post is an excellent example of this talent; I have never been defrauded, but I felt his anxiety in the pit of my stomach as I read:
Zuko’s Musings by
Popination, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, means (or meant) “a session of excessive drinking; habitual drinking.” However, the OED also notes that the word is “obsolete, rare. Apparently only attested in dictionaries or glossaries.” But Jenn Zuko has made an entire “series of unhinged personal essays disguised as pub reviews” in this word’s honor, with titles like “Popination Impersonation,” “Popination Transubstantiation,” and “Popination Trepidation.” If that’s not enough to intrigue you, she will also introduce you to useful vocabulary words like powfag—which I won’t spoil for you. Here’s an example of the Popination series that I particularly savored:
Short and sweet on this lovely Sunday. Thanks for reading, from my fancy internet typewriter to yours.
I’m presenting two stacks this week to make up for not including one last week.
John, @sparksfromculture, @jennzuko These are some of my favorite stacks, too, just because they combine the personal with wit and vulnerability and keen observations of the world – well, not "just." But I have to add that Montaigne was fiddling and writing and editing his personal essays right up to his death, and that is the way to think of this most human form of writing. It always risks getting too personal or leaping away from what needs to be said. And yet, I don't think any writer should stop themselves from giving it a try out of fear of "how much to say about myself." Say a little bit, say too much, but speak of the self, especially in these times of profound uncertainty. I gain hope and strength and the spark of specific life when I read essays by David and Jen and many other writers here and elsewhere, including Montaigne. I like the mistakes, too, the questions, the "what do I know?" And I'll admit that I missed the reference about the cat. Darn, I'm not perfect, but what do I know – really? :-)
How uncanny that I am just now drafting an essay for Tuesday on this topic: "...these are the questions that generally prevent me from writing personal essays. It’s not that I’m an intensely private person, but rather, I have no idea which parts of myself may be of interest to anyone else." My assumption is that when we talk about writer's block we're really talking about self-doubt. Perhaps you'll tune in on Tuesday and let me know if I've helped you see a path forward in the personal essay!